December 29, 2004 - Year 2004 In Review!

Well well well, I'll start off with saying.. FUCKING SNOW!!!!! Theres a damn blizzard and I'm snowed in, its CRAZZZY! So, since I'm snowed in and can't go out and can't even do anything I decided to write my blog and from the suggestion of Mr. Harder I decided to be like him and do a year in review.. To start off, last year started off.. interesting. I was friends with Jessica and James and on New Year's Eve last year that was the end of our friendship. Last New Year's Eve I had all of my friends over for a party, we had a large supper, including turkey, gravy, potatoes, perogies, etc, etc etc. Since I don't drink I decided that I would buy my friends a mickey of some alcohol. Well, Jessica, James and Cam were over and left to go to a party that Jessica's aunt was throwing, after they left I went to pour someone a drink and I'm like WTF where's the alcohol?!?? Knowing Jessica's history with being a theif I immediately called her and questioned her as to where my alcohol was.. she denied having it and said she didn't know where it was.. I let her go and started searching my house and after I still couldn't find it I called her a second time where she yet again denied having it and then giggled, I immediately knew she was lying and hung up.. Finally about 5 minutes later she calls me back and is like.. ohhhhhh someone the alcohol got into my purse and it spilled everywhere, I don't know how it got in there.. blah blah blah.. I was completely outraged beyond belief and told her to fuck off and that I didn't want to talk to them (including her AND James again) and haven't spoke to either of them since then. James tried messaging me a few times on the internet and I just told him to fuck off and blocked him.. So, after 2 years of being treated like complete shit by those 2 and being used and abused it all came to an end. My New Year's resolution had been to give up on dating, my new resolution was to stop being friends with those 2 and never talk to them again and I have managed to keep up with that resolution. I thought after that night that my year couldn't get any more interesting... boy was I wrong if I would have only known what I was in store for....
Probably a month or 2 later I had a pretty tragic event happen in my life, to some people this wouldn't have been tragic and wouldn't have bothered them, but.. I know I am not perfect.. but I do have morals and believe in God and theres just some things in life I won't agree with. Heres the story... I had started hanging out more and more with Marla's group of friends, including Jenn her friend who was gay. I didn't agree with Jenn's lifestyle and didn't accept it, but just shut up and ignored it and hung out with her and there other friends. I guess I was naeive and let the devil blind me again.. Anyways, in the mean time my dad's sister Lorraine moved to Moose Jaw to go to school, her and I are only a year and a half apart, so this was great.. her and I got to spend a lot of time together, I travelled there once and she came to Regina to visit me quite a few times. She was always quiet and shy and had problems when she was growing up and I was happy that her and I had finally became really good friends. I considered her not only my aunt but a best friend. Anyways, when she'd come to regina to visit me her, my best friend Marla and I would hang out. At one point Marla and her group of friends, including Jenn, travelled to Moose Jaw to go to some firefighters fundraiser.. well I guess somewheres in there Jenn and Lorraine exchanged phone number or msn e mail addresses or something and started talking to one another I'm not even sure exactly what happened. So, this one weekend Lorraine is supposed to be coming to Regina to visit me and I was expecting her to come here on a Saturday, so on Friday night Marla, Joy and I are out and decide to go for coffee. Joy calls Jenn and invites her to come with us and says she needs to go get Jenn and pick her up (she didn't have a car) and Marla and I were like.. well we can all go together and Joy insists that she goes by herself to get Jenn... Anyways, Marla and I are waiting at the Robin's Donuts on Albert St. S, and finally Joy walks in and we're like.. where's Jenn? and she's like.. oh she's coming so finally we see Jenn walking up to the doors and wait.. who's that man with Jenn?? WAIT!!!! That was no man it was my aunt Lorraine and so they walk in and look at me and there like.. well, have you guessed it? Well, if you haven't guessed it by know or don't already know, Jenn and Lorraine we're dating and this was Lorraine's way of coming out of the closet so to speak. I was completely upset by this, totally traumatized, words can't even express the way I felt hearing this news. I completely freaked out I didn't know if I should run and hide, or scream or just cry.. I did the only thing I could think of and called the one person in my life I know I can always count on to be there for me and to never let me down, thats right I called my mom. I completely freaked out and was like mom your NOT going to believe this you need to sit down and she's like what? and I'm like Lorraine just came here with Jenn and announced that she's a lesbian and that there dating.. I don't recall exactly what my mom said but it was probably something that she normally says in tragic situations like "Come on" with this totally shocked tone to her voice and I told her exactly what was happening and asked my mom to come pick me up and of course my mom being the amazing completely understand person she is didn't even question me and was there and soon as she could be. In the mean time I went back (I had called my mom from by the washrooms beacuse I needed to get away from them) and when I got back Jenn freaks out on me and is like aren't you going to talk to your aunt? Aren't you going to hear her out? etc etc.. and my aunt made some comment to me that she'd known this for quite a while and all I said to her was, ya so have I. After this came out I couldn't believe how stupid I was, my aunt dresses like a man, acts like a man, used to refuse to wear girls underwear growing up, and all that stuff but when she claimed to me that she was straight, I believed her. The devil truly does blind people. Anyways, after I found this out I was a complete and total basketcase, I couldn't eat or sleep for 3 days and just kept on listening to my third day cd (an amazing christian rock band) and kept on praying, I didn't know what else to do. It saddened me beyond belief and upset me so much to see my aunt, my best friend, my dads sister, someone I loved and cared about so much to chose such a destructive way of life. Of course, since I decided to follow the less travelled road in life I got persecuted. One of Lorraine's friends completely freaked out on msn one night to me and ran me into the ground and just went on and on and on until I blocked her. Then my Grandma started saying that we (my parents and I)
just need to accept this as it was Lorraine's way of life. This made me even worse mad, coming from the woman who freaked out when her other daughter got pregnant out of wedlock and made her get married or else.. and the same woman who yelled at her son to stay away from people because the smoked and did drugs. The reason I would not "accept" what my aunt was doing was because its morally wrong, I'm not saying that I'm perfect and that I haven't sinned, because I am not perfect and have sinned.. But this situation really woke me up and made me realize that once again I need to accept Jesus into my life and make some changes in my life and this may sound stupid but I know its true, the more you let the devil into your life, even in little ways, the weaker you become. I stopped hanging out with my aunt because I didn't want to be weaker, this experience only made my faith stronger and like I always say everything happens for a reason and this really did happen for a reason, to make me wake up and realize that I am not perfect and need to make some changes in my own life. I told my aunt after all this happened that I still love her and everything, that its just her choice in life that I don't agree with. Since then so much has gone on in our family, well my dads family that is, my Grandma just freaked out on us and couldn't understand how we can't accept Lorraine's choice, she pretty much disowned my parents and I. My dad ended up getting an inheritance from my Grandpa's estate.. before my Grandpa died he was planning on selling his farm land and it wasn't until after he passed away that my Grandma ended up having to sell it for him. Well, since this happened after the "Lorraine" situation my Grandma decided to be pretty cold hearted as usual and threatened my dad that she wasn't going to give him any money. According to my Grandpa's wishes (we don't know if its actually stated in the will or not) but my Grandpa wanted each of his kids to get an equal share of money from the sale of the land.. Well, I guess my Grandma decided she would be greedy and instead of splitting the money 3 weeks, split it 4 and gave herself a chunk of money. To say the least we don't talk to my dads family anymore.. its just better that way..
Well, moving on the year wasn't a total waste and good things did happen in April I finally after a couple years got to meet my amazing best friend Ryan (a.k.a. Harder, his last name haha!) Him and his friend Sharon decided to venture to Regina for a road trip. It was great, they stayed at the super 8 motel a block from my house and Marla and I went to pick them up, I walked into the lobby of the hotel and all I said was.. Mr. Harder!!!! hahaha! We had a blast, we went out to the casino and then went to tim hortons for coffee and then went back to there hotel room to hang out, definetely good times had by all! Then later on in the year for my birthday I decided to return the favor and make a road trip to Saskatoon for my birthday!!! OH THE FUN THAT WAS HAD! haha.. I invited all of my friends off the internet that live in Saskatoon to come and the following people showed up: Harder (of course), Sharon, Sharon's friend Melanie, Kevin, Waseem and Jordan. We went to Whiskey Jack's where great fun was had by all. Sharon being the great friend she was came to the hotel Marla and I were staying at and let is follow them to the bar so we didn't get lost! I finally got to meet her boyfriend Mike briefly that night, which was a highlight, finally getting to see her man bitch she spoke of! haha. Anyways, so we went to the bar and Melanie stayed there while Sharon drove her bf him and then she came back and then Kevin showed up then my friend Jordan.. who kept on looking over and finally after 5 minutes I just went up to him and was like.. Jordan?? and gave him a hug.. haha. then Harder finally showed up and a little later on Waseem. We had a lot of fun, lots of dancing and some karaokee. Everyone got along really great. We finally went back to the hotel room and just hung out and my cousin (who had followed us to saskatoon and went to visit some friends) came back for a while and said hi and we just relaxed after a night of partying.. Oh and who can forget Marla and I nearly getting lost in saskatoon? My cousin who led us to our hotel and then ditched us for her friend and she was supposed to come shopping with us.. so Marla and I went to our hotel and got settled in and then when we were going to go out shopping, called my cousin and of course she wasn't answering her phone and when she did she told us she'd be there within 15-20 minutes to come shopping with us.. 40 minutes later Marla and I grabbed a phone book (which we returned) and a road map and went on an adventure. We started driving and my cousin calls me back and I'm like we were pissed at you and decided to go shopping on our owns.. so I asked her to ask her friend which way we turned when we got to 8th St. to get to the mall and of course he said right.... Well, apparently we were supposed to turn left so Marla and I ended up driving for a few blocks and then realized we were going the wrong way, turned around and headed back and finally found the mall and went shopping! It was pretty fun and then the next day we went to the Midtown Plaza downtown to do some more shopping and ended up convincing my friend Kevin to drive us there. It was a great weekend and I definetely want to go back to Saskatoon again. Hopefully for Ryan's b-day since New Year's Eve is out of the question.
The other good thing to happen to me this year was meeting Paul. I had talked to Max (Paul's roommate) online for at least 2 years, I constantly harassed him to marry me and what not (nothing out of the ordinary I do it to a lot of my online guy friends) and to my knowledge Max was single, but learnt otherwise later on.. anyways, after enough harassing Max finally told me to talk to one of his friends Paul and I started talking to him on msn around March or so.. He was super duper quiet and didn't say much more than "heh" and uh huh, lol, etc. After a while I just referred to him as quiet and guy and thought, if this dude doesn't start saying more he's getting the good ol' block DELETE! I eventually decided not to block or delete him and kept on talking to him.. I also started harassing him to marry me and kept on telling him to meet me and I'm sure he thought I was completely insane, but one day he finally asked me for my phone number and said he'd call me. Me being the pessimist I am was sure he wouldn't call and when he did I completely hyperventalated that he was like.. calm down, stop freaking out! Anyways, we made plans to go on and finally met on June 5th. I ended up picking him up from his apartment and we went to a movie at the Rainbow.. All I could think was.. this guy is quiet, I'm sure he thinks I'm completely insane, we'll never be anything more than friends and probably never go out again.. ha ha ha. Well, after that movie, we ended up going to the casino the next weekend and the weekend after that we went to the drive-in.. you know the drive-in.. so we sat through the entire first movie, I sat on my side of the car and he sat on his and I'm like, alright this guy doesn't like me, he hasn't even put his arm around me and all he said about me after we met was that I was "nice" hmm.. Finally after I thought all hope was gone he finally put his arm around me! *GASP!* Anyways, after I don't even know how long and a lot of worrying and frustration he FINALLY asked me to be his girlfriend.. after I got to know him I realized that he wasn't as quiet as I thought and that he was just shy and realized that he really did like me and of course this scared the crap out of me.. After some fighting over stupid crap that was pretty retarded we broke up, well actually just stopped talking to each other all together. I didn't think I'd talk to him again because every time I tried messaging him on my msn it wouldn't work and I just assumed he had blocked me.. Finally one day I was on my fake msn account and messaged him and started talking to him.. We started talking and fighting some more... and this went on for a while and then he questioned me why we broke up and if I missed him and all that crap, etc etc etc.. I just kept being a bitch to him, because I didn't want to go through the heartache again of dating him and fighting and breaking up, etc. We kept on talking on msn and he just would NOT give up, he kept on insisting we date again, that we should hang out, etc. I couldn't figure out why he just wouldn't leave me alone already and questioned him frequently what the heck was wrong with him and why he just didn't give up.. Well, I guess his persistance finally paid off.. After being extremely sick with the stomach flu for 4 days and him being there for me the entire time and never giving up hope on me or our relationship I decided to finally go and hang out with him again.. We went to some movie, I don't even remember what it was and after that I decided that if I ever gave up this guy again I was a complete and total moron. Finding a guy like that, that completely understands me, doesn't think I'm crazy, stands by me and never gives up hope on me or our relationship is either insane or a keeper.. I'm going with the second one.. haha.. So, finally on November 21 he asked me out again and we started dating again!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!! woooo....
Hmm.. Oh yes, what else happened to me this year, my car, my beloved Roy was in a car accident. My dad was out and about one Saturday with my car getting me some gas in my car and getting my mom a anniversary present, I expected him to be out for a while and gave him my cell phone so I wouldn't worry.. Finally my moms like.. gee its been a while and I'm like oh don't worry dad will be fine and a little while later the phone rings and its my dad calling he's been in a car accident. Of course more concerned for metal than family I automatically ask my dad if my car is ok.. I just assumed that since he was calling that he was alive. It turns out that he was only 2 blocks from the house so I got dressed and started walking. I got to the scene of the accident and completely freaked out, almost started crying (my dad was fine, Roy wasn't!) The front bumper of Roy was off and he wasn't doing to good. We drove him home and then reported it to sgi, then finally assessed the damaged and decided that I could do one of 2 things.. Fix the car and if they found more damage that what was estimated I was completely screwed or I could just write off the car.. take it as a total loss and take the money and run. Well, I decided to let the car go...... Not an easy thing to do, I really loved that car and knew I would miss it a lot. Since my parents had money they had just got from my Grandma I told them it was time that they bought a car and they finally did.. a 1997 cavalier!! yay! A couple days later on one of my days off from work I just decided to start looking at cars and after a long day finally was at capital. I ended up meeting up with Boston Rob.. a waiter that used to serve me at BP's back in the day when I went there with Jessica and James. Anyways, he tried selling me a car way out of my price range and finally I was like, are there any other cars in my price range and he's like.. well we have two 2003 alero's and he told me the price and I asked if they had spoilers and as like.. alright I'll take one and that was that. I finally had a brand new car.. a week or 2 later I took Roy down to sgi where I handed over my keys and the love of my life. I was really upset and hugged Roy and said farewell.
Anyways, for right now thats about all I can think about to write about.. a lot more has gone on in my life this year, but for major stuff thats about the jist of things.. I appologize for the poor grammar and spelling errors I refused to read this over and correct them.. Anyways, Happy New Year everyone and night y'all!!

December 28, 2004

Well, Christmas is over.. overall it was a great christmas, I got some awesome gifts and got to spend time with family I don't see that often. I also got some awesome gifts, Paul got me the present of all presents LIGHTS for the tires of my car!!! Vroom Vroom!!! They are purple I'm so super excited! I also got some money from my uncle, a gift card for old navy from my moms friend, a gift card from the body shop and a cd from paul, a lamp, accessories for my car and a bath pillow from my parents and a watch from my aunt.. Not to shabby at all! This weekend is New Year's and I'm hoping to go away to Saskatoon with Paul to visit Mr. Harder and hopefully Sharon.. but the weather doesn't look to promising.. It's supposed to be snowing and/or blizzarding so I don't know yet if I'll be going away, if not I guess Paul and I will just hang out and do something in Regina. Anyways, hopefully I'll remember to do another blog before the end of the year, if not... Happy New Years!!!! Adios y'all!

December 16, 2004

Well... Over a month later and I'm finally writing something in here!!! and I'm only doing it because Ryan kept bugging me to, otherwise I'd forget.. Not much is new with me Paul and I are dating again.... YAY!!!!!! Christmas is one week away and I plan on going away to visit family and stuff.. so it should be a good one.. AND I'm going away for New Year's as well to visit Mr. Harder and finally meet the future Mrs. Harder (a.k.a. Darliss) so it should be a good one.. I'll get to spend Christmas with family and New Year's with Paul and my friends, so I'm definetely looking forward to it. Other than that there really isn't much new with me.. My New Year's resolutions this upcoming year is to lose some weight and become closer to God and start going to church. Hopefully I can keep my resolutions. Well.. thats about it and hopefully I'll write again soon.. Night ya'll!!!!